I Prefer Loving and Gentle Discipline

I was brought to tears reading this Letter from a Teenage Son to her mom about how he felt about him being spanked as a kid and how her mom having realized it was a mistake no longer does the same to her younger siblings. Personally I prefer loving and gentle discipline as a parent. Although a little hurt, the son had these beautiful words for his mom, “you always forgive me, so I have forgiven you.”

Most traditional parents believe spanking as a necessary part of discipline. While they may certainly have their own reasons, I am firmly against providing discipline to a child through physical punishment. I believe that there are a lot of more effective ways to guide and discipline a child than through corporal punishment. I prefer loving and gentle discipline, even though it isn’t always easy to do.

Let me share these facts from Ask Dr. Sears, the evidence against spanking is overwhelming. Hundreds of studies all come to the same conclusions:

1. The more physical punishment a child receives, the more aggressive he or she will become.

2. The more children are spanked, the more likely they will be abusive toward their own children.

3. Spanking plants seeds for later violent behavior.

4. Spanking doesn’t work.


  1. I cannot (fully) agree with the “conclusions”

    1. I received much physical punishment as a child in school or at home, but i didn’t become aggressive.

    2. As a child i was spanked, and i realized that i was sometimes abusive toward my own children but afterwards i said to me “i never do that again”. But sometimes u must “control” the little “devils” with some punishment.

    3. Spanking plants seeds for later violent behavior. – may be ! In what circumstances ? Define the meaning of “later violent behavior”

    4. Spanking doesn’t work.
    sometimes it works – sometimes not. It depends on every child and his character.

    • That’s alright that you don’t agree with the conclusions I came to, which are of course my own opinion. You are certainly entitled to your opinions as well, and I respect that. Thanks for commenting!