We Can’t Always Be in Control

Control is one of those things that most parents wish to have. Oh, as a matter of fact, it is something that majority of human beings want to have. We want to be in control because we believe that this is what we need to get the life that we want–the outcomes that we want to see. As parents, we try reading parenting books and guides because we want to be “in control” of every situation that we may encounter in parenthood. But as we all must have realized it by now, we can’t always be in control.

A post I read today titled, “Spirit-Led Parenting: Learning to Lean Not On Our Own Understanding,” gave me a much-needed encouragement that I don’t need to be in control. That my happiness and the happiness of my kids doesn’t rest on my ability to create foolproof plans and clear-cut solutions. We can’t always be in control of everything, and that is a fact.

I’d like to share these heart-warming words I picked up from the post, “I know now that drawing back into my own wisdom and expectations brings only heartache. Patience, humility, joy in each circumstance, peace amidst laundry piles and hope throughout weary 3:00 AM feedings? These things are not possible when I’m sitting back and operating out of self, but only through God’s Spirit in me if I will seek Him out and yield to trust.”

The Need For Parents Stay In Control

If you are reading this post hoping you can get some ideas on how to have full control of your child, then let me tell you that this isn’t going to be about that. Instead, this post is about controlling yourself–that’s right, ourselves as parents.

It is not uncommon for parents to lose themselves around their children and end up unintentionally yelling at or hurting the kids they love so dearly. There are days when all the whining, fighting, crying, and creating messes just gets the best of us. While I know that it is impossible to never get angry, a constant display of lack of self-control can send a negative message to our observing children.

As one mother puts it in her blog post entitled, A Valuable Parenting Tip, “Our children need us to be their rock. They need to be able to borrow our calm. When your child is feeling out of control, they need to know that someone is okay. And that someone is you. They need to feel secure knowing that you are stable while their world feels rocked.”

As parents, we must make an effort to not allow the behavior of our kids to determine our behavior. Rather than focusing on getting our kids under control right away, we should allow ourselves to take a moment to get ourselves under control first.