Parenting Guilt: Positive and Negative Effects

A post titled, “How I Became A More Confident Mum” had a section that talked about the issue of parenting guilt. I just can’t help but share my thoughts on the matter.

Guilt is one problem that probably every parent has encountered–it is said to be an intrinsic and inevitable part of parenting. Being erring humans that we are, we are bound to commit mistakes and short comings along the way. You know, we feel guilty about working too hard and not having as much playtime as we want with our kids, or we feel guilty about the way we reprimanded our kids or not being able to give in to their requests.

Feeling parenting guilty can have its negative effects, it can make us hold ourselves and our kids to unrealistic standards, it can give our children the impression that they can control and manipulate our decisions and can potentially break down communication, trust, and love within the family. However when managed appropriately, parenting guilt can also amount to something good–it can prompt us to reflect upon our actions and teach us lessons, help us feel empathy, connect to our children and drive us to make positive changes in our parenting.

Saying No to People You Love Is Not Easy

It’s that special time of the year where everybody sets lofty, new goals to reach. While I have nothing against setting high expectations, it just seems that most people don’t have the work ethic or will to change. If you set a goal that is too hard, the chances that you fail will be much greater than if you had just set a few smaller goals. Build off of successes and try not to frustrate yourself.

A post about resolutions for every mom made me think about this topic. The mom who posted it talked about her new resolution to learn how to say no more often. I certainly don’t know what is best for everybody, but I think this could be a good goal for a lot of us. I know that I could benefit from learning to say no when I am simply not capable of doing something. Part of learning to say no is to not let people guilt you into doing what you said you wouldn’t anyway. So if you were trying to think of a smaller goal for 2013 that would still be beneficial to you, maybe you can give saying no a chance.