When Your Child’s Favorite Parent Is Not You

I read a very interesting article this morning. The article titled, “The pain of not being your child’s favourite…” was written by a mommy who feels hurt that she is not her little boy’s favorite parent despite the fact that she, “feeds him, changes him, plays with him, mops up the spills, kisses the bumps and grazes, reads to him and cares for him when he’s ill.” When your child’s favorite parent is not you it can kind of hurt your feelings a bit.

Have you ever felt this way with your kids? Feeling like you are less favored by your child/children than your spouse? While I think as parents we try to joke around and take our secondary status lightly, there will always be times when it will get into us–as what the author of the above article says, especially during times when we feel overwhelmed, stressed, or tired.

So what do we do when your child’s favorite parent is not you? I would say, try not to take it personally and think that your child loves you less. As psychologist and author Dr. Ellen Weber Libby puts it, “Having a favorite parent is totally normal. All people have preferences for those with whom they have an unspoken ease or simpatico. That doesn’t mean that the child doesn’t love both parents equally… it means that a given parent meets a given child’s emotional needs in ways that are beyond words.”